As I look forward to another great year of playing and covering lax for 24 Seven, I can’t help but reflect on the year that was 2011. And in doing so, I can’t help but think about all of the bone-headed plays that I made over of the course of the season. Stepping off-sides, stepping into the crease, missing an easy pass or an open net goal, keying my defender’s car after a game. My list of faux pas run deep. So I’ve decided to make a written commitment to myself and my readers to make some changes in my game and my lax lifestyle that I hope will yield greater results than my 2011 campaign. Perhaps you too can vow to make 2012 a better lax year for yourself as well. Sing along with me please….

1. I promise to stop thumbing and pinching the ball.

I learned pinching from UMD Attackmen Tim Cox. It’s hard to pull off but also hard to catch. We here at 24 Seven lax do not advocate cheating, so please join me in ending this malicious activity.

2. I promise to wear my helmet correctly so that I am looking through the proper face-mask bars.

Pay attention. This is wrong…

and this is right…

Personally, I have never been afflicted with CDS (chinstrap-deficiency-syndrome)  but I see it every year in the Masters and Grandmasters Leagues. It’s not just a pee-wee lax problem anymore.

3. I promise not to wear white socks with black shoes.

Unless you’re the King of Pop, you got no bizz rocking this look. I don’t care how badly you want to grow the game, this isn’t going to help. Shaving your legs once in a while might not be a bad idea either Chewbacca.

4. I promise to stick a dryer sheet in my equipment bag to kill the stench.

Does your gear bag smell like you were hiding Billy Batts in there for a few days? Dryer sheets are the answer, my friend. Stick ‘em inside your gloves and elbow pads also. See how fast the ladies come running back to you once that undead smell has gone away. Repeat as much as necessary, then go home and get your shine box!

5. I promise to stop using my kids and their fiddle sticks to relive my glory days.

If you have kids, regardless if they’re girls or boys, you’ve done this. C’mon, it’s okay to admit it. You should see me dunk on their Little Tikes basketball hoop!

6. I promise to bend over for ground balls.

“It’s not a potato, don’t stab at it!” Brilliant words from a brilliant man. Lax legend, Okie O’Connor, used to scream that at me when I was 12 years old and it paid off  up until around 1993. That’s when I stopped bending over for ground balls. Anheuser-Busch had a record year in sales that year as well. Coincidence? I think I need to heed Okie’s words of wisdom once again and reclaim the ground ball crown amongst my fellow Blarney LC Attackmen ….by picking up 3.

7. I promise not to wear a camo hunting shirt under my summer ball jersey.

You know who you are. Just stop it already.

8. I promise to blog more, you promise to read and comment, even if you’re stupid.

Do you think I spent all of our Obama money on all of this hardware so I could  troll on 4chan and Chatroulette?? No sir, I plan on posting as much as possible in 2012, so  I’ll need you  to read as much of my stuff as you can. Gotta keep that money machine rollin’ ya know? I’ll be posting day in and day out in 2012, or at least as much as my children will let me. Oh, and there’s work also, that’s 10 hours a day. And don’t forget that I still play in the Masters League so more blogging time lost there. Oh yeah, I occasionally play out with a band as well. And then there’s Dungeons and Dragons a few times a month, can’t forget that. And how can I forget Larping?! Just be there for me when I post, okay?

That’s all I have for now. We should circle back to this list in May and see if we are holding up our ends of the bargain. Remember that we are in this together. It’s you and me and that’s all we have sometimes in this crazy world. I’m  not saying that just because they waived my restraining order either. Now go run a few miles, hit that wall, get a left hand and fix that chin strap and lets have the best 2012 lax season we could ever have!

Oh and practice also.